뜬금없긴 한데, 근데 정말 공부한답시고 가만히 앉아있으면 별별 생각 다 든다. 명상이 어렵다는 게 다 비슷한 상황이라서이지 않을까 싶기도 하고. 과거부터 현재, 미래에 이르기까지 쪽팔렸던 기억, 즐거웠던 기억, 슬펐던 기억, 해피한 미래에 대한 공상, 현재에 대한 고민, 어쩜 그리 잡념이 끝도 없는지.
그러다 문득 떠올랐다. 최근 억수씨 홈페이지를 발견해서인지 하늘마을 티셋 생각하다가 아, 티벳! 싶더라. 베이징 올림픽의 메달행렬에 (특히 야구;; 나 야구가 그렇게 재밌는 건줄 몰랐다. 병살 뭔지 몰라서 왜 우리가 이겼는지 모른 채 왜왜왜 왜! 우리가 이긴건데에- 홀로 울부짖어야 했었던;;) 흠뻑 젖어 존티토 예언따위_-_ 앞으로 열심히 공부해야겠구나 이러고 있는데, 보이콧하네 어쩌네 하던 전세계의 관심은 이젠 티벳에게 1g도 가있지 않게 된듯?? 내 코가 석자인 마당에 티벳걱정 하게 생겼냐만은, 음. 약자는 이리저리 묻히고 마는건가. 국외건 국내건.
squint your eyes and look closer I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am thirty-two flavors and then some and I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head cause someday you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said
both my parents taught me about good will and I have done well by their names just the kindness I've lavished on strangers is more than I can explain still there's many who've turned out their porch lights just so I would think they were not home and hid in the dark of their windows til I'd passed and left them alone
and god help you if you are an ugly girl course too pretty is also your doom cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room and god help you if you are a pheonix and you dare to rise up from the ash a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while you are just flying back
I'm not trying to give my life meaning by demeaning you and I would like to state for the record I did everything that I could do I'm not saying that I'm a saint I just don't want to live that way no, I will never be a saint but I will always say
squint your eyes and look closer I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am thirty-two flavors and then some And I'm beyond your peripheral vision So you might want to turn your head Cause someday you might find you're starving and eating all of the words you said
